In days of old when men were bold and business was conducted
They carried swords and heavy boards as circumstance instructed.
So if a tempted lout exempted conscience from his dealings,
He’d think twice, or even thrice, before he set to stealing.
The loss of culture to these vultures was at times lamented,
But none denies were bald-faced lies and cheating thus prevented.
This day and age do we engage in commerce with civility
We make our deals o’er tasty meals with scruples and tranquillity.
We wouldn’t dare to fetch hardware or ordnance to meetings
For there’s no need to make men cleave to honesty by beatings.
The Golden Rule’s the best of rules as most of us were taught,
And rare’s the day it doesn’t pay - at least that’s what I thought.
There's some, I’ve learned, that rules have spurned, and put on pious faces,
Which are so false it really galls the righteous, and amazes
Holy prophets for whom profit’s not of God but come from mammon,
And fishy deals with Christian seals still smell like rancid salmon.
Who’d have guessed the con-men blessed with all the cash they’ve made
Because, I say, in church are they to canvass for our trade.
In suits and ties with sincere eyes these dastardly deceivers
Will quote the Book to be mistook for just-like-us believers.
The self-same Lord who gave His word that saints don’t stoop to anger
Got mad as spit and threw a fit and whipped the money clangers
Who’d come so low their greed to sew on the porch of God’s own house.
If He feels thus, it’s up to us to suffer not these louts.
But rid our midst of hypocrites while we can still afford
To guard against their grave offense once more with boards and swords.